Otter Hugs

Zenith of zealots,
year of the end's beginning.
Xenophobes write public fiction on X
while women's rights are rendered worthless.
Voting for violence, not vaccines,
ultimately undermining understanding.
Transexual targets
sexualized in bathroom stalls.
"R words" used regularly.
Queer quickly questioned by
pedophiles who prefer pointing fingers.
Overdoses prescribed often.
Neanderthals normalize narcissism.
Meanwhile, mothers aren't worth medicine.
Legislators endorse lethal laws while
klepto kings claim the KKK is okay.
Justice justifies genocide, but
information is impossible to access.
Homeless homesteads deemed hazards destroyed by
government turned gestapo.
Foreign friends find facts, exposing false claims.
Environmental epidemic is eminent.
Demons declare, "Danger!"
"Christianity isn't charity!" while
billionaires get breaks from bureaucrats.

An abecedarian with attitudes of apathy,
asking for answers.
Aching, antagonized, and abandoned.
Altruistic artists advocate, arguing, "anti-facism isn't anti-American!"
Attempting to abolish anger and aggression against all,
allies aren't avoidable.
Actions, however, are amendable.

That spot down deep
Just in the center of my chest
A perfect tiny ball of gravity
Has the power to pull all of the air
Out of my body
in a moment
And turn it into unbearable joy
Or pain
Or fear
Or longing
Or complete ecstasy
I want to draw it out
Push it down
Cover it up
Tear it out
Subdue it
Drown it
and numb it
I’m scared to feel it
And scared I’ll never feel it again.

Can’t describe how it feels
But I can say how it doesn’t feel
It’s not sharp
It’s not suffocating
It doesn’t burn
It doesn’t shrink my lungs
and make it hard to breathe
It’s not joy
It’s not exciting
There is no anticipation
Nothing to look forward to
No awe and amazement
There isn’t anything to make your heart flutter
Motion, yet motionless
Action, yet not productive in any way that provides satisfaction

As I watch them
all of them
I wonder
What are you thinking?
How do you see me?
Have I made the right decisions
in your mind?
The exquisite perfection in choices
we believe they must have it.
They can see
what I don’t
so they must be right.

I think I felt it
the short vibration
check to see
nothing but the time.

Your eyes look down
distracted
How can I make you see me?

What happened to the air?
How, in a world so large
with trees, flowers, wind, and sea
can it all be gone
with nothing left
for me to breathe?

Please don’t doubt
how lovely you are.
From the day you were born
you were a gift to this world.
Don’t doubt
the choices you have made.
They have made you wonderful.
The masterpieces you’ve created
The lives you have touched
and the light you bring to their souls.
All of the gifts you have
your perspective on humanity
the love you share
your feelings
your dreams
your brilliance.

I need nature.
The innocence of pure life
all around me.
I want to watch the rivers in Alaska
as they wrap around mountains
that touch the sky.
I want to sit by the ocean
and smell the breeze.
I need to feel the salty air surround me
and know that everything is okay.
I want to be surrounded by
the warmth of the sun
and covered by the blanket of night
staring into the infinite
beautiful
space.

I talk in my sleep
and sometimes wake
half dazed
needing to finish the conversation
as if my mind is trying
to get my attention
when my guard is down.

I have been thinking about the stars
the night you kissed me.

How do stars align?
What, in that moment
was so significant that it could change me forever?
How could I deserve something
so earth-shattering
as your lips on mine
your hands on my face
the gentle touch of your tongue
All the light
traveling billions of miles
just to watch
you reach in and touch my soul.